Never Been Nobody

I’ve never been nobody to you. In the anonymity of my listless drudgery I’ve slogged in hapless nothingness but I’ve been your everything. I’ve been the light in your eye while pity filled my own heart with self loathing, doubt and disgust. While trembling knees shook from fears of my own unwise making I have known your peace residing just outside the failures of my limited grasp. I’m not nobody to you. I’m never not your most singular delight; your finest accomplishment; the center of your unfolded desire. I’m your perfection and the core of your generosity, the anchor of your creativity. I’m the best among your excellence and certainly I’m never not the most important among all you have created.
Although I have always known you I’ve been lost in the wilderness of my own misunderstanding of our relationship. I have awakened in the fear of not being accepted by the wicked at the cost of fellowship with the righteous. I have been restless and unable to sleep on nights when the doubt of my self-worth has plunged me into the deception of the persecutors accusations. I have ventured alone into a crowded world of spiritual isolation, fueled by dangerously common thinking. I have showered myself in shameful exploits for prideful reasons, with disgraceful results. I’ve taken human advice about spiritual issues from ungodly counsel and forfeited heavenly solutions in favor of infectious corruption. I have joined the broad paths of everybodys, unwisely engaged in everything and I emerged a broken, lonely somebody, masquerading as nobody.

In all of my shallow self-accomplishment, I stand in the ominous shadow of perpetual failure and loss; one heartbreak away from total collapse. Yet your arms constantly reach out to engulf me in total victory. Although the most valuable of all that you’ve given me is invisible, I stand firmly on the promise that it is uniquely for me, and can never be taken. I am the visible representation of all of your goodness; damaged goods, beautifully repaired, permanently preserved.
You were always my strength and my refuge even as I struggled to know you. When you were nobody to me, you still adored me. I can boldly step forward projecting the confidence of your lordship. I may be nobody to almost everybody but I have never been nobody to you. Thank you Jesus!

“The steps of a good man are ordered by the Lord, And He delights in his way.” Psalms 37:23 (NKJV)
“The Lord your God in your midst,
The Mighty One, will save;
He will rejoice over you with gladness,
He will quiet you with His love” Zephaniah 3:17 (NKJV)