Get Your Souls To The Polls

Please pray for me, that things don’t go left while I’m on my way to exercise my right. Saying my goodbyes like it’s for the last time, I kiss the wife and kids every time I pick up my keys; not knowing whether the rule for the day is to raise my arms or lay flat, but knowing instinctively that bowing or kneeling would be more pleasing; still unsure if, even, that will get me back home that night. I may have to trade my Beemer for an old church van just to keep suspicion low and so that I can carry as many eye witnesses with cell phones as it would take to have Colin Kaepernick take a knee for me, and maybe convince the insurance company to pay my beneficiaries the claim while they’re still living. Maybe I’ll pick up a few more old geezers to lower the threat perception and we’ll sing gospel songs to invoke peace on both sides of the bus and maybe if there’s enough of us and we move slowly enough, they won’t have time to stop and frisk us all for our Skittles. Just for the sake of backup, please pray that there’s no technical difficulty with those newly purchased body-cams and that the video doesn’t somehow become inadmissible or invisible in court. I’d prefer the terrorist courtesy shot to the leg and I could just limp my way to the polling place if I’m lucky but I’m not sure the bleeding and the limping and the crying for help wouldn’t make me appear more dangerous. If I happen to get the normal sentencing for a crime of “no specific nature” pray that it’s after I’ve had the chance to cast my vote. Oh, I hope there are no super-secret, fraudulent voter fraud laws that would discount the votes of people who die on the way home from the polls. But whatever the case may be, I’m still determined that even if my local firehouse has become the place for an imminent showdown on that day I’m going to be there to hold my nose and take my stand for coulrophobics everywhere and do what’s necessary to erase my nightmares of the angry orange chaos misting on the horizon. If I’m going to risk my life for something it’ll be getting souls out to the polls but I’ve concluded that going out for groceries is no longer worth it.