Having A Conversation

As anger reins down in contentious fury the call for a conversation echoes through hollow hearts and simulates a need to understand opposing views. Ears trained sharply on the context of assumption, tongues triggered by the possibility of conflict; the silent wall of deafness imitates dialogue but perched beyond the margin of listening awaits a barrage of bitterness waiting to be strewn liberally, with intent to further silence. Calling for conversation upon the deafness of selfish intention and the expedience of conflict cessation, we exist upon the hope that a temporary silence will lapse into forgetfulness and life as we falsely imagined it, will resume.
In one-dimensional narcissism we carefully avoid the four-dimensional conversation required to resolve a spate of recent eruptions built atop a foundation of unresolved injustices, balanced on a smoldering graveyard of hatred; in search of a conversation that simply can no longer be had between the terminally offended ends of two spectrums.
Thoughtless, top-of-the-mind, hateful words expressing pains and assumptions, excuses, justifications, offenses and ramifications cut through airspace piercing egos, breaking hearts, fueling falsehoods. Now you’ve angrily spoken but no one heard, no one understood, no one felt your outcry of emotions; only theirs, and therefore no conversation imagined could have overcome the ringing deafness in protected ears, caused by the first punch thrown. Conversation? No, a war is raging in the silent moments while anxious thoughts encircle distracted minds in preparation for the streaming barbs of a razor-edged rebuttal. Blood for blood exchanges in a not-so-gentlemanly duel of opposite ideas; delivering talking points through make-believe courtesies and alternating knife stabs. Hurtful innuendos hurled wildly until murderous intensions unmask themselves in all-out undignified dueling diatribes of screaming unintelligible chaos. And in the end, no resolution. The hurt continues, non-stop until the chatter ceases; at the point of prayer. Silent communion is unleashed in an echo chamber where fault reverberates inward and failure ends in self-reflection; disagreements unmask conviction.

“But avoid foolish disputes, genealogies, contentions, and strivings about the law; for they are unprofitable and useless. Reject a divisive man after the first and second admonition, knowing that such a person is warped and sinning, being self-condemned.” Titus 3:9-10 (NKJV)

In the calm realization that there is no permanent joy in the temporary success of a winning argument, the inability to extract complete satisfaction highlights the powerlessness of emotion-filled human persuasion efforts. The persistent word war only fuels itself with anger and misunderstanding to the point of self-defense and, win or lose, never offers enough self-medication to heal a self-indulgent, self-abused psyche. Perhaps the elements of conversation and self are mutually exclusive. Perhaps when you’ve humbly asked, you’ll hear and when you hear, you’ll understand and when you understand, you’ll feel for someone other than yourself. Perhaps fulfilling “conversation” is more about how one acts than it is about how forcefully one speaks.

”Be not deceived; God is not mocked: for whatsoever a man soweth, that shall he also reap.” Galatians 6:7 (KJV).