You know me! I’m the guy that was the guy that did that thing that everybody loved me for. That thing that got so good I held on to being the guy to enjoy being loved for doing that thing. Remember when you wanted to be that guy but I was the guy, and you couldn’t be the guy because there was already a guy being that guy? Well, the problem I have now is that I’m still the guy I was back when I was that guy and the life that was all about that guy and that thing is now about some other thing I can’t do. Besides, that thing that I enjoyed so much is not so enjoyable anymore and I don’t know how to stop being the guy that enjoyed that thing. Although I’m still pretty good at that thing, people don’t seem to love me so much for doing that thing nowadays. Being the guy was who I was but now I’m more like “some guy” and now I’ve been that guy for so long I don’t know how to be “this” guy. I have so enjoyed the memory of that guy doing that thing, I may have passed up the opportunity to become this guy I was supposed to be. Instead I’m some guy who used to be the guy; trying to be the guy everybody still loves.
“The past is never where you think you left it.”
― Katherine Anne Porter
civilwritesdotme 